Just this week, I had lunch with my delightful and wonderful friend, Pam Rosterman! On a side note, yesterday morning at church, she got to see a side of the very real me as I was giving my husband a hard time. Thanks for enduring my dis-respect toward him, Pam. I did apologize later :) Anyway, during our lunch God really used her to challenge me to surrender this house sale. She didn't specifically say anything to me about that, but she shared her life and experience. Through that process I said to her "When I grow up I want to be like you." She chuckled. Yet through hearing her heart, God spoke to me in a powerful way!
I have processed this through the week, surrendering the house sale. What does that look like, what does that mean etc....My heart has grieved. Today our "for sale by owner" add expires. As I sat with the Lord this morning and shared my heart with Him and sought Him here is what He showed me.
For me, a house is a symbol of status. When we were first married and all of our friends had houses, I felt less of a person or less of an adult because we lived in an apartment and probably would for a long time. When we lived in a huge house with Barb, Paul's mom, it was painfully humbling for me because we couldn't afford our own place. The house was HUGE and beautiful but it challenged my idea of status. And now, as we head to Peoria in the next few months, we face the reality of no longer buying a home. But IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!! I know this in my head, translating it to my heart is the difficult part.
My bestie, Lianne lovingly spoke truth to me after my last post.She reminded me that nothing matters other than my family. Not a house not any possession. I am blessed to have a healthy marriage and delightful kids! This is TRUTH. Nothing else goes into eternity with me.
My heart aches this morning to let go of the dream of having our own house. But I surrender it to God, knowing that He knows better than I what I need. And I realize that the process of surrender is not a one time thing. It will be constant. Every time I think about it, I will have to choose to surrender the house.
Surrendered to God and laid at His feet. I choose eternal perspective over temporary status:
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