Update

Today I am home just sick, sick, sick, and bored out of my mind.  I thought I would give you all an update on where we are with church planting since I'm not capable of doing much, other that sitting on the couch and sleeping.  The big answer is:

WE DON'T HAVE ANY ANSWERS! 

We had some very good friends from St. Louis visit this week for just 24 hours, but it was a sweet time.  My friend, Melissa and I, both said we wish we could have shirts made that said "We don't have any answers".  That would be great!

We visited Peoria on Monday, July 9.  I have not updated because I have had to really process that day.  All in all, I walked away extremely discouraged from the day. 

The big event of the day was me having a total breakdown in the parking lot of a HyVee Food Store. After pulling into one of the schools we had considered, which was falling apart and only had one slide and rusty swings, we went to grab lunch.  I ate lunch then just emotionally lost it.  I was overcome by the weight of all of this.  The massive amount of change and stress.  The massive amount of UNKNOWNS in all of this. 

The bright side of the day was Paul called Russ to see what schools they were looking at.  How Divine was it that Russ and Tina were on their way to Peoria.  It was amazing. Within an hour, we were all able to meet up and spend some time together, encouraging one another and just being together.  It was beautiful that God engineered all of this for us!

We looked in the same area of the city that Tina and Russ were looking.  We thought we found a 3 bedroom apartment complex we could live with, but then we went back at night and found it to be a no-go.  We drove all over the area. It was unreal. 

As we drove home that night, we realized that most likely in about 2-3 years we will be stepping out to start the 2nd church plant. We had been looking in the are of where the first church is to be planted. For the sake of stability and consistency for schooling etc,,we need to be looking where we might plant a 2nd church.  BUT WE DON"T KNOW WHERE THAT IS YET!!! 

All in all, we decided to pray and wait on God.  These last two weeks have been very hard on me.  When we entered this process, I knew there would be times my faith would be high and times it would be very low. Since visiting Peoria, it has been very, very low. I have battled God,felt angry, felt desperate, felt lost, been angry again and again, and believed that we will never get to Peoria.  I am beginning to rise out of this state but it has been so very difficult.  I have repeatedly said to myself "Why so downcast, oh my soul, put your trust in God."

The good things happening are: Russ and Tina found and bought a house in the very small pocket they needed for the proper schools!  Anna and Patrick, the couple moving just to serve. Well, Patrick was hired for a postion. He is a welder by trade.  Russ and Tina will be moving to Peoria the 2nd week of August.  As of now, our move is sometime in October.

I've really been thinking about how to involve the kids in this waiting process since they know that we are going. And they're wondering when we're going. I made this poster to help them pray

Here are some things you could be praying about for us:

*We have a lot of verbal fianncial commitments out there. We really need the commitment cards back before we can add those to our official count. Pray that God would prompt our supporters to send those in

*Sale of homes for us, Russ and Tina, Patrick and Anna

*100% financial support for us and Russ and Tina

*God would prepare the hearts of those He would place us in relationship with in Peoria

*Part time job for Paul and my job transfer

*Moving expenses

In my soul, I know that God is Good, Faithful, Righteous, Just and Perfect. He has all things planned in His time and plan.  I have to trust His plan and release it all to Him.

How "I feel" vs. God's Truth

There is something very special, to me, about being up in the early hours of the day.  Coming down the steps, making my coffee then sitting down with my Bible, journal and Bible study starts my day off in the perfect way.  As I sit and enjoy the Lord's presense, I am renewed. I am reminded that His peace is perfect.  The house is quiet. The chaos of the day has not started. He has gifted me this hour to be energized by His grace and mercy.  He gives me the strength to rise early and to bask in the glory of time alone with Him. For this, I am so very thankful.

Today as I spend time with Him, I am reminded that the battle in me is one of my "I feel" statements vs the absolute Truth of His Word.  My emotions often attempt to run my day, but I have to constantly run them through the Truth of what He has to say.

I battle what I feel, and what I know to be true because He says it in the Bible.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5:  For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of this world.  On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.

I Peter 5: 8-9:  Be self-controlled and alert. You enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  RESIST him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are underingoing the same kind of sufferings.

The enemy's desire is to destroy me by getting me to believe my emotions and give them pre-eminence in my life.  But my responsibility to take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ. 

Practically what does this mean for me right now?  Many thoughts and feeling are flying through me during this "waiting period", and I have to make them obedient to Christ by proclaiming the Truth that is given me in Scripture.

My feelings:
I doubt His ability to provide. 
Truth:Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to His riches in glory.

I fear for my children's safety spiritually, physically and emotionally.
Truth:  They are His, and He will protect them. He loves them infinitely more than I ever could.

I feel like a pathetic excuse for a mom.
Truth:  I am made in the image of God (Gen. 1:27). It is ok to be the kind of mom I am. I do not have to keep up with some sort of "ideal".

I am not capable of what God has called us to in church planting.
Truth:  God's grace is sufficient for me. And His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor 12:9)  He will enable us to do what He has called us to do.


I am so thankful to have God's Word as the guiding source for my life.  During the darkest periods of my life, His Word has been a source of peace, guidance and healing.  Hebrews 4:12: For the Word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to diving soul and spirit, joints and marrow.  It judges the thoughts and attitude of the heart.

My prayer, as I head into my day, is that His Word would be alive in me. That His Truth would ring louder in my ears than the lies of the enemy.