July brought a new season to our family. I returned to working outside the home. Let me tell you, this has brought us a brand new season of life along with so many adjustments. It's been great for me emotionally but hard on me when it comes to mothering. I feel that I am so hurried and busy all the time that I get frustrated with the kids. Probably, what I need to realize and accept is that I'm trying to adjust to a new season, and it's going to take time to get my feet under me.
I'm working at Weight Watchers as a meeting leader. I lead 3 meetings each week, do weigh-ins at a 4th meeting and hold 2 work at home positions for Weight Watchers. This all adds up to about 20 hours/ week for me. Maybe not a lot, but a new "normal" for this family since I've been home doing daycare for 7 years!
In response to feeling guilty all the time, I've started re-reading Julie Barnhill's book Motherhood: The Guilt that Keeps on Giving. The very first thing she tells us to do it make a list of those things we don't feel guilty about so here I go:
*I no longer feel bad about having a c-section with Joshua. I no longer feel like I failed at my passage into motherhood.
*I don't feel guilty about putting Joshua on formula at 8 months old so that I could take the needed medicine for Postpartum issues
* I feel quite proud of myself for pumping and feeding Joshua for 8 months
* I don't feel guilty about leaving my full time job to stay home with my babies
* I don't feel guilty about letting my kids watch TV, eat sugar, drink soda, have a cup of coffee, jump on the furniture, leave their rooms messy, or have McDonalds.
*I don't feel guilty for picking my babies up when they cried. Darn the "cry it out". I want to hold my babies. They sleep through the night now!!!!
*I don't feel guilty for feeding on demand and not on a schedule
* I don't feel bad for doing child lead weaning
* I don't feel guilty for understanding that my needs as a woman/mother/wife do not line up with homeschooling
* I do not feel guilty for understanding that homeschooling was not a good fit for Joshua.
* I do not feel guilty that Joshua is an energetic boy and needs to bounce
* I do not feel guilty for continuing to take Zoloft for 7 years
* I do not feel guilty for not attending every field trip or being involved in the PTO
* I do not feel guilty for getting in a verbal altercation at the McDonalds play land in defense of my children
*I do not feel guilty for telling parents that my children are not allowed to have sleep overs yet. Or for not feeling comfortable letting my children go to someone's house that I'm not comfortable with
* I do not feel guilty for setting boundaries and parameters for my children
* I do not feel guilty for not liking a lot of "mom" activities. I need my mind challenged
* I do not feel guilty for understanding that I needed more than being home full time.
* I do not feel guilty for making Elizabeth walk into school alone after a few weeks
* I do not feel guilty about pulling my child out of a school due to the teacher
* I do not feel guilty about not giving my children lots and lots of toys
* I do not feel guilty that I buy our kids' clothes at a re-sale shop
So that's it so far!!
That feels fantastic!!!!
