There is something very special, to me, about being up in the early hours of the day. Coming down the steps, making my coffee then sitting down with my Bible, journal and Bible study starts my day off in the perfect way. As I sit and enjoy the Lord's presense, I am renewed. I am reminded that His peace is perfect. The house is quiet. The chaos of the day has not started. He has gifted me this hour to be energized by His grace and mercy. He gives me the strength to rise early and to bask in the glory of time alone with Him. For this, I am so very thankful.
Today as I spend time with Him, I am reminded that the battle in me is one of my "I feel" statements vs the absolute Truth of His Word. My emotions often attempt to run my day, but I have to constantly run them through the Truth of what He has to say.
I battle what I feel, and what I know to be true because He says it in the Bible.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5: For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of this world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.
I Peter 5: 8-9: Be self-controlled and alert. You enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. RESIST him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are underingoing the same kind of sufferings.
The enemy's desire is to destroy me by getting me to believe my emotions and give them pre-eminence in my life. But my responsibility to take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.
Practically what does this mean for me right now? Many thoughts and feeling are flying through me during this "waiting period", and I have to make them obedient to Christ by proclaiming the Truth that is given me in Scripture.
My feelings:
I doubt His ability to provide.
Truth:Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to His riches in glory.
I fear for my children's safety spiritually, physically and emotionally.
Truth: They are His, and He will protect them. He loves them infinitely more than I ever could.
I feel like a pathetic excuse for a mom.
Truth: I am made in the image of God (Gen. 1:27). It is ok to be the kind of mom I am. I do not have to keep up with some sort of "ideal".
I am not capable of what God has called us to in church planting.
Truth: God's grace is sufficient for me. And His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor 12:9) He will enable us to do what He has called us to do.
I am so thankful to have God's Word as the guiding source for my life. During the darkest periods of my life, His Word has been a source of peace, guidance and healing. Hebrews 4:12: For the Word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to diving soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It judges the thoughts and attitude of the heart.
My prayer, as I head into my day, is that His Word would be alive in me. That His Truth would ring louder in my ears than the lies of the enemy.
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