1. I'm so, so tired of Facebook. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I love that I can keep people updated on our lives, but I hate that a lot of people, whom I preferred were not up on my life, can also see our stuff. Now, I could go through and remove them all, but let's face it, we're in full time ministry and that could get very, very ugly.
2. Facebook doesn't let me really share what is happening in our lives with those that I love. I want to have a place to honestly share with you what we're learning, how we're growing etc....
3. I would like a little more privacy.
In fact, I'm making this a closed blog. So people can only view if they have permission from me.
With all that being said, why the interesting name of "Finding Balance in Tension". As I tried to think of a clever name for our blog, I wanted it to be two things: discreet and descriptive of our lives. I believe that I have found both of those. Our names aren't in the blog title and the name fully describes where we are in life.
A little over a year ago, Paul attended a conference. I can't remember which one. But when he came home, he was describing to me that one of the pastors there (maybe Andy Stanley) had talked about learning to exist in the tension of ministry. When Paul shared this with me, I was so so so mad! I don't like the tension of ministry. I don't like feeling like we are being pulled 15,000 difference directions. I don't like that he only has one day off each week. Needless to say, this conversation didn't go well.
Shortly, after that discussion, Paul and I had our first true "crisis point" in our relationship. One in which we just could not get past. We were tolerating each other and hardly speaking. We ended up meeting with our head pastor and then our board (an amazing group of men). Through these meetings, our board decided to send us to Fairhaven Ministries in Tennessee for a week of rest and retreat. While there we would go through intensive counseling to the tune of 2-3 hrs/day. Our board made it very clear that our marriage was the priority, not ministry. They would not sit by and allow our marriage to fall apart so that ministry could flourish. I can not tell you how much this meant to me. They even paid our entire way!
One month later we dropped the kids at my parent's house and headed for Fairhaven. The week was so very hard. So many difficult discussions between Paul and I, but we came out of it very changed. The things we learned taught how to manage full time ministry so much better. And now here we are one year later doing so much better than we were.
However, this has brought me back to that original discussion of "balancing the tension" of ministry. I can't tell you how true this is. Paul is constantly being pulled so many directions. And if he's not letting the "church" down because he can't be there, then he is letting us down because he can't be here. I can't imagine what this must feel like for him. October 3rd, Focus on the Family had a great broadcast on this very issue.
Ministry is not a job. It's a lifestyle. It requires us to constantly learn ho
w to manage this tension. To figure out how we will get time for our marriage and family in the midst of absolute, constant craziness. There is no true balance or routine to be found. It changes every single day. And as a woman who likes formulas and routine, this is so hard for me. Yet, God has been very faithful to us. We struggle but we battle together to learn how to find balance in tension.Here is the link for the trip we took and I'm posting some pic's from that trip.
www.fairhavenministries.net
Hi ya Steph. Thanks for doing the blog. I feel honored to be invited into it. I completely agree about facebook. Can't really say what needs to be said on occasion. I wish we had our weekly coffee chats. Perhaps this will have some of the same connectedness. Thanks for being real and sharing from your heart and life. I Love you!
ReplyDelete